indignant

on behalf of my mother.  to catch you up (if you didn't already know) she had her surgery Monday and will spend the rest of the week in the hospital to recover.  without going into further detail, let's just say she is on her way, the first hurdle in this journey is behind her.

through all of this, she has wanted to keep this private.  she didn't want to talk about it with anyone outside of family, and she made this very clear to all of her kids.  for my part, i only give this tiny bit of information about her because her situation has made me uneasy, and i need to explain why i've been absentminded to the people i work for, the person i live with and the dog i take care of.  it is her right to talk about it when she is ready, but i have to tell the people who are closest to me, who will suffer the effect of my lack of focus in every day life.

that being said, i was surprised to find a photo of my mother in a hospital bed posted on my sister's FB page.  i could not believe it.  it is in poor taste to show our mother in such condition, and at the same time ask for sympathy and prayers from her friends who have never met our mother.  i'm still so appalled by it, i can't even begin to express how horrified i am, or how mortified my mother would be. 

i made the comment that i didn't think she would appreciate seeing herself like that in a social website, and my sister immediately went on the defensive.  it seems she would prefer i not comment on this photo, this post because it was meant to illicit prayers and best wishes.  but for whom?  for my mom?  i don't think so.  somehow, my sister managed to turn my mother's surgery into an attention grabber for herself.

to give a little background, i am talking about the sister who told me a while back that she hated our parents for lying to her.  when i asked her what they lied about, she replied "santa claus".  on a separate occasion, she told me that she felt like our mother never showed her any love, and when i said she ought to try and repair her relationship with mom, she asked me "what's the point?".  she went on to say she wasn't interested in repairing their relationship, which makes me question the motivation behind posting that photo.

my head is whirling with anger and indignation.  given everything we have ever said to each other regarding our mother, i can't believe she would choose this moment in time to play the dutiful, loving daughter, a role she never wanted to play.

perhaps i'm just overly suspicious because she is not a very kind or loving person.  kindness from her is usually just an act with ulterior motives, self serving motives. 

and worst of all, i am exposing her in a way that is about even with the way she exposed our mother.  i guess that makes me a bad person too.